naughtygamers
NTHW Gaming Banner

Author Topic: Jokes  (Read 23614 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Ramrod

  • [NTHW] Clan
  • *
  • Posts: 5,350
  • Full time again :(
Re: Jokes
« Reply #180 on: 12 April 2019, 05:34: PM »
A black hole walks into a cafe and orders dry toast.

The person at the till asks if they'd like a spread or something to go with the toast.

The black hole says, "No thanks, I'm a light eater.
Step by step, walk the thousand mile road...

Offline Gottu

  • [NTHW] Clan
  • *
  • Posts: 354
Re: Jokes
« Reply #181 on: 14 April 2019, 10:47: AM »
I went to the Doctors today and told him I was having trouble with my hearing.
He said,”Can you describe the symptoms ?”

I said,”They are yellow, Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair.”

Offline Gottu

  • [NTHW] Clan
  • *
  • Posts: 354
Re: Jokes
« Reply #182 on: 15 April 2019, 08:15: PM »
A mate of mine is in to the old records such as the 45/78rpm's. He went into a shop and whilst browsing he saw a Sammy Davies Junior record and bought it, on his way home he started eating it. Well people kept staring at him in disbelief and off he went home. The next day he was back in the shop and when browsing he came across an Ella Fitzgerald 45rpm he purchased that one and making his way home began eating this record and again people were just amazed at what they were seeing. The following day my mate is in the doctors with very severe internal pains, the doctor asked him what he had eaten in the last 48 hours or so and he told the doctor that he had eaten the said two records. The doctor examined him very thoroughly and came to the conclusion that he had succumbed to Sam and Ella poisoning.

Offline Ramrod

  • [NTHW] Clan
  • *
  • Posts: 5,350
  • Full time again :(
Re: Jokes
« Reply #183 on: 16 April 2019, 09:53: PM »
Christ...... :doh: :( :o  :D
Step by step, walk the thousand mile road...

Offline MovedGoalPosts

  • Kannon Fodda
  • [NTHW] Clan
  • *
  • Posts: 3,583
    • Ember Big Band
Re: Jokes
« Reply #184 on: 17 April 2019, 07:00: PM »
I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.

Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind. :erm:
uıɐbɐ ʎɐqǝ ɯoɹɟ pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ buıʎnq ɹǝʌǝu ɯ,ı

Offline Gottu

  • [NTHW] Clan
  • *
  • Posts: 354
Re: Jokes
« Reply #185 on: 18 April 2019, 08:04: AM »
I've just found a portrait of a policeman in the loft.

I think it's a Constable.